I swore it wouldn’t come to this. I would never be one of those people…you know, the ones who start a blog and then let it die. No siree, I was going to start strong and stay strong.
I did (start strong) but I didn’t (stay strong). There are lots of reasons. Want some?
- I found getting up at 4:30 in the morning to write for 1-2 hours a day unsustainable.
- When I stopped writing in the morning, I found writing in the evening took time away from my family.
- Since I hadn’t yet figured out my niche/product/reason for doing this, my blog was definitely a hobby and not an income source, so it was hard to justify taking that time away from my family (especially when I would spend 2–3 hours on a post and see that it had been viewed maybe 27 times).
- I have about 100 subscribers to my newsletter (OK, more like 96 since I subscribed myself via four different email addresses—you know, to test it). I am soooooooo grateful for the friends and family and a few strangers who hopped in to follow what I wrote. Sometimes you would comment (thanks, Mom…and a few others). Sometimes you would tell me in person that you liked it. It was encouraging, but wasn’t quite enough to build my online empire. (Did you know if you search for “the upside” on Google we show up at the end of page 6?)
- I started a job that filled a creative void that existed when I began the blog, and was a little more demanding. So I have less energy each day to face the blank page.
- Just like writing can become a habit, not writing can become a habit, too. Starting up again is a little bit (or a lot) like starting your exercise program after taking two weeks off for vacation.
- If I’m really honest (and I am not looking for affirmation or “there-theres” in sharing this), I really can’t find, consistently, what I have to share that needs to be heard in addition to all the “noise” that is out there already. And believe me, there is a lot of noise.
- If I’m really, really honest, I have found it very hard to write like an UpSider lately. When I sit down to write I actually feel very maternal and lecturey and want to slap vast amounts of people for their horrible attitudes and horrible rhetoric on social media and the interwebs. I want to gloriously point the way to a better way to think and behave, but then think, nah; what do I know?
So there are a few of my reasons. None of them great, but they are the ones I have. I budgeted my whole evening to write and after two hours of procrastinating I decided I just need to write something, anything. This is what’s coming out—not exactly my finest work and possibly quite off the mark under “the UpSide” brand.
I’m still not ready to throw in the towel or sell my domain. But I am talking to God a lot to see if He wants me to do something with this little platform. I’m kind of hoping for an audible from Him, but in the meantime I’m also trying not to feel guilty each day…week…month that I don’t post anything again.
Thus ends my first downside of the UpSide post.
And if you read all the way here, please know I’m still crazy grateful for you.